LADY WAFFLES DERPENSHIRE
Duke Pickles Derpenshire
Des does this mean we’re married
Captain Bubba FluffyButt
Mister Pickles McDrummies
sounds like a fast food meal
Princess Peanut Derpenshire
Mister Pickles Mcnolegs
Lord Pickles Fluffybutt
Captain Waffles reporting for duty
DUCHES WAFFLES FLUFFYBUTT
Sir Macaroni Fluffybutt
HELL TO THE FUCKIN YEAHDr. Pickles Mcnolegs
(Source: cronuses)
So on friday i forgot to post this but i met this amazing senior at my school named edward and we really hit it off and he kissed my cheek and today he kept kissing my neck and touching my butt and hugging me and he asked if id be his girlfriend so i said yes and then afterschool i was at school for like two hrs and we walked around and we kissed a lot (all the teachers had a meeting) and we went in the girls bathroom for privacy and we kissed and he sat on the toilet seat and i like sat on top of him and we were kissing and he kept being all cute and he asked if i wanted to see his dick and i was like sure and he whipped it out and it was fucking huge i almost had a heart attack omg and at first i was just giving him a handy but then he asked if id suck it and i couldnt say no yakno so i did and he lasted like two minutes and he came and it was gross it was thick and just ugh and then we kissed some more and he put his hand in my pants and started to finger me and i got uncomfortable and told him to stop and so we kissed some more and i mean edward is a fantastic kisser and then i was sitting in his lap and he gave me a HICKEY on my fucking neck and then we walked out and went to the steps (theres a window) and he sat me on the windowsill and we kissed for like forever until my friend joe came and was staring and then he left and i asked if he was going on the senior trip tomorrow but he said he wasnt going but he won’t be back in school till next tuesday and im just so sad because like hes graduating this year and ugh life sucks srsly but he said he’ll be here all summer so thats good i just dont know how to break the news to my ex i mean he said he wanted to get back together but i mean its too late and ugh i sucked a dick
*watches infomercial for 17 minutes before realizing its not a regular commercial*
(via slenclerman)
I FFUCKING FOUOND A SHREK TEXT GENERATOR AND IM ALUGHING SO ARHARD
(via britney2007spears)
when i was at the foot massage place the person that gave me the massage kept speaking chinese to me and i was like “what” and kept nodding as if i understood what she was saying anyway and at the end she says “you have no idea what im saying huh” omg
Try to say her name out loud without rolling your neck
That pussy flyer than a muhfucka
(challenge yourself to add a caption thats not “Drop down and get your eagle on”)
So like did your titties catch fire, or what?
What are your career options at this point?
